How to have a healthy relationship
Individual skills to develop
- Learn to recognize, accept, and tolerate your feelings.
- Learn good communication skills and practice active listening.
- Think about what you want from a relationship.
- Learn the difference between what you want and what you need, and the difference between what you really want and what would be nice to have.
- Learn what is realistic to expect from different kinds of relationships.
- If you are having trouble with any of these, get help.
Examining the relationship
- Get clear about what you want from the relationship.
- Get a reality check. Can you realistically get what you want from this relationship?
- Talk about what you want from your relationship and what the other person wants. See if you are each willing to give what the other person wants to receive.
- If you are having trouble with any of these, get help.
Maintaining the relationship
- Communicate your feelings without blaming.
- Complement the other person frequently.
- Listen actively.
- Empathize.
- Accept limitations; focus on why you want to be in relationship with this person, not on why you don’t.
- Take care of yourself; remember that the other person can’t meet all your needs all the time.
- Ask for what you want.
- Express gratitude when you get what you want.
- Respond honestly and caringly to what the other person wants.
- Forgive.
- If you are having trouble with any of these, get help.